I just need a compass and a willing accomplice

...and a halo of patience, and a less sporadic pace and
I'm learning to be brave in my beautiful mistakes.

It's been a long time since I posted (yes, I'm stating the obvious, not insulting your ability to look at timestamps), and I notice that I feel significantly heavier, and that's not just the prednisone talking. Blogging helps immensely, but I can't seem to find the time to post the way I want to - I am the same way with emails and phone calls - if I don't have to time to present a truly thoughtful response (which takes me forever to compose), I tend to not write/say anything until I find the time, and then I don't find the time, and blah blah blah. Then I come off as a flake, but my intentions are good, I promise.

Another blogger I know who has a hard time posting consistently suggested designating one day of the week; being a fan of routine, I think I might try that.

Turning 25 was the first year I felt "different." It might have something to do with the fact that the day before my birthday, I filled out some form in which I had to check off my age demographic...putting myself in the 25-34 category was startling. Not bad, just startling.

A lot has changed since I last posted. All relationships require a lot of effort. I used to think that once I was comfortable trusting someone, I had no problem being vulnerable to him/her, but I am finding that this isn't really the case anymore. Often, I catch myself being wary even with those closest to me, but maybe that's not such a bad thing. On the flipside, I've been more open with my family lately, which has been really great and beneficial. I'm a lot closer with my mom, for instance, and I've been drawing lots of strength and wisdom from my sister. My last fortune cookie slip was one of the more inspiring and applicable I've had, and read "Share your joys and sorrows with your family." I'd been sharing my joys, but not my sorrows; after the repercussions from my last relationship hit, I found that things would have been a lot easier if I hadn't isolated myself so much. I don't know whether I did that to shield them, or because I was in denial. Now, I'm an open book and I've felt a lot more balanced knowing that I have an unwavering social support system; at least with my family, I know that they just want me to be happy without agenda and will help me achieve that. I'm lucky to have a family like mine.

I have crap I want to post, like cool pics and stuff. I'll do it later. Lunch is here.