I have always been a storm.

At this very moment, I identify feelings of sadness, fear, panic, and self-doubt...not much else. What I'd really like to know is, what made me think I could actually pull this off? I honestly don't remember.

It's too dark for me to see properly anymore, so I'm gonna try and get some sleep.

Goodnight.

I'm not sorry, Australia

via Fuck You, Penguin by bza on 9/18/09

Jesus Christ, Australia. What. The. Fuck. I know I've made fun of you for your koala rampages, your lax marsupial drug policies, and your animal-related holidays, but now it's pretty clear you were asking for it all along. You see, this is a brushtailed possum, caught in the act of eating a cookie in the backyard of an Australian residence. This possum sucks, obviously, and believe me there's no way I'm letting him get away with that pink nose and his little possum fingers. But, ummmm, Australia? WHY ARE YOU PUTTING COOKIES IN YOUR BACKYARDS? This is a classic case of Stockholm Syndrome, where Australians are the victims held captive by their kidnappers (mostly kangaroos desperate for another dime bag) and now they have fallen in love with the very animals that mean them harm.

But Possum, really? I don't care if they left out cookies for you. You take them home and eat them on your couch while you watch TV or something. You don't just stand there in the dark eating cookies, Possum. Not only is that fucking weird and a small step above wearing sweat pants to work, it's basically asking for someone to come along and take a picture of you looking surprised, which is exactly how this ended up. So go ahead, eat your cookies. But leave me out of it, Possum, I don't need to see any of what's going on here.

Eastbound Road Trip: Day 1

Ahm le tired.

Props to the growers of Palisade, CO for producing damn fine peaches. Nom. Props to Mom for packing me a bag full of fruit and fresh veggies on which to snack during this road trip. NOM. Props to the motel for having a mini-fridge and microwave so I can have a little bit of fruit and tea before bed. Props to you for reading my meanderings. Props all around; it's Saturday night.

Speaking of NOM, when I was at a service plaza about 30 miles into Kansas after crossing over the Colorado border, the neat block print over the hand dryer read as follows:

I will eat your soul.

NOM NOM NOM

If I were to come across the weirdo who wrote that, I would give her a hearty pat on the back. Maybe a hug. It's not like it's gonna happen anyway, so let's just say I'd consider giving her a million bucks for making me laugh whilst staring at a wall in a public restroom. This actually reminds me of my Stab List, but more positive for sure.

Currently in Junction City; approximately 2/3 of the way across Kansas. Yes, I acknowledge the fact that I may be the worst approximator ever, but I actually referred to a map and that's what it looks like to me, yup yup.

I feel better than I thought I would. I hit the road around 4:30 or 5 MST because1) I didn't sleep much/well last night and felt like lupus this morning 2) it's always hard for me to leave home, regardless of how excited I am to get to Philly, and 3) when I'm flying solo, I prefer to get through Kansas (at least the western part) at night.

I easily drove for about 8.5 hours and felt decent; I could have kept going for maybe a couple more hours, but why push myself? Especially since I purposely gave myself a few extra days to allow for times during which I may not feel well anyway. Since we're on the topic of taking time to care for myself, I'm thinking about getting a great breakfast (ok, brunch because there's no way it will be prior to noon) before hitting the road tomorrow. Eating well in the morning will keep me going more effectively through the day and will hopefully prevent me from stopping for the typical road trip fare: fast food, or something like that.

Methinks the temporary filling on my 3/4 completed root canal borked. Blargh. And the endodontology (sp?) department doesn't really seem to care too much. I've had so many problems with almost all of my medical-related administrative assistance since my flare. You'd think that people who have a career in healthcare support would be more helpful. It's been affecting me greatly in several ways...one being that my paperwork allowing me to get at least some monetary compensation during my medical leave seems to have disappeared. I was about to go all Newtonian on the office assistants' asses and explain that the originals of executed documents can neither be created nor destroyed so they should go-ahead-and-find-the-damn-papers. But I didn't. I'm thinking about going to HUP in person to pick a bone with everyone who hasn't been willing to help me over the past couple of months and hopefully get my way (unless they provide a better answer or something).

Ok, time to fire ze missiles go to sleep. I am suddenly bone-tired. It's a good thing I stopped for the evening. Goodnight.

::EDIT::

Don't judge (or do, I don't care), but what's with Miley Cyrus being [more] legitimately talented lately? My understanding is that she actually writes her own crap too. Cool. I still maintain that she's too young to be acting and dressing like a tart though.

g'night for reals...kthxbai

weeki wachee

I've always been enchanted by this photo:

A fashion photograph taken at Weeki Wachee spring, by Toni Frissell, first published in Harper's Bazaar (December 1947)

Midwinter Northern Lights

...and with this, I am rendered breathless.

Midwinter Northern Lights, Syöte National Park, N. Finland....

via nihil noetia on 9/7/09

Midwinter Northern Lights, Syöte National Park, N. Finland. Photo by Jorma Luhta.

A smooth sea never made a skillful mariner

My day was remarkably unproductive. I'm usually a champion when it comes to making lists and stuff, but I haven't made or even looked at a single list in days. The last list I looked at was the bucket list and I don't think I modified it at all. I should make lists (I meant to today but didn't) because there's all kinds of crap I need to do that requires an internet connection, and by the time I get to a place with internet, I'm scattered and don't do the things I need to do. I look up knitting patterns, go through my Google Reader subscriptions, and listen to music (which doesn't even necessarily require an internet connection), among other things that really are secondary (if that) to the things that need to be done. Argh.

On another note, wouldn't you think that people who work in medical offices and insurance companies would take extra care to be helpful? It's actually the reverse most of the time. Go figure. What a mess.

One good thing I've been doing is going through and organizing all of my stuff so that come Friday night/Saturday, all I have to do is load the pre-packed items into my car and I can hit the road.

I love this dress...I need to find occasion to wear it:

I would make sure it's not wrinkled, of course. And I just removed the tags. Woo.

I saw this on one of the food blogs I read, and I like it:

Ok, I'm gonna take one last stab at being productive and hit up Sam's to pick stuff up for my mom.

fortune and love favor the brave

-Ovid

On Philly, the abyss, libraries, and whimsy ravelry

As much as I bitch about it sometimes, I really like Philadelphia. I guess I could say that I have a love/hate relationship with the city (mostly love!) but even some of the things that used to drive me nuts have developed a sort of endearing quality. For example, often now when I see a ridiculous situation, rather than getting put off, I kinda shake my head, smile a little, and think to myself, "only in Philly..." The city has so much to offer, holds so many memories as as well as the makings of new memories, and being away from it for two months has made me realize how much I miss it. Not to mention certain people there who are very important to me. I'm headed back in a little over a week, and it's just now hitting me as I'm making preparations to go. I'm actually (dare I say it?) excited. Autumn is rapidly approaching. It's my favorite time of year back East. I have big plans to participate in as many fall activities as possible. After the weather gets a little too bitter (cold + humidity = no bueno) to spend as much time outdoors, Thanksgiving will be here. Then comes Christmas. And all of the associated fun. There's much to look forward to.

The library is a safe place for me. At the risk of sounding sacrilegious, to me, libraries hold the same sort of sacred quality that churches do. In fact, public libraries are open and appeal to a much wider audience - people from all walks of life, religion, age, ethnicity, sexual orientation, blah blah blah - everyone is welcome at the library! Patronage is even encouraged, especially given the dismal state of literacy in this country. It's free, uncensored (to an extent - excluding explicit material) in that no particular genre/topic/belief is forced upon the reader but rather he may choose for himself what he wants to experience, and many even offer programs and events for children and adults, ranging from learn to read, to book clubs, all the way up to festivals. Before I got my job, I would go to the library on Mondays and Fridays to play Scrabble with "old folks," and seeing these peoples' lives at times drastically improved by the library never once failed to amaze me. The library provides a priceless service to the community simply by unlocking its doors every morning...who knew a room full of books, a board game and a handful of retirees could give me so much perspective and appreciation?

Right now, just sitting here in the East Branch of the Pikes Peak Library is therapeutic for me. The internet is great, I doubt I could function properly without it now, and any information imagineable is accessible nearly instantly with a few keystrokes (unless you live in the stone ages and still have dial-up...sheesh), but to be completely surrounded by books is straight-up humbling. It gives me a tiny glimpse into the vast amount of knowledge out there I have yet to tap into, or even fathom; there's so much I want to know and learn. Good think I'm young and have lots of time left!

I got the knitting bug again, no doubt inspired by the coming of fall. I'm working on a hat right now...here's what I have so far:

If I had to identify a personal style, I guess I would say that I like simple things with a little bit of interesting detail thrown in. The hat will be a plain green beanie (assuming I get it right) but I am nothing short of absolutely delighted by the little flap and wooden buttons. They serve no function other than to be adorable, and I'm pleased with the result.

Well, the library is closing, so I'll be on my way.

387. If you trip in public, don't blame the sidewalk.

Pick yourself up and pretend nothing happened.

via 1001 rules for my unborn son on 9/1/09

Them Crooked Vultures

October 12. The Electric Factory. We are so there.

For your enjoyment, the most recent instrumental teaser: