Happy New Year!

It's that time again.  I have mixed feelings about this holiday.  I like to make lists to remind myself of things of which I should be aware and I get excited for a "fresh start" as much as the next person, but I don't understand why many people wait until the 365th (or 366th) day of the year to set goals and work on improving themselves.  Oh well.  On that note, I love new planners/calendars and am excited to open mine!

Resolutions:

• Manage my time better and procrastinate less - this includes not being late anymore.
• Be gentler with myself.  I get really angry with myself sometimes, and more often than not, there's no call for me to beat myself up about anything or the issue is something small.
• Be present.  
• Keep in touch with people I care about - reach out more in general.  Snail mail is one of my favorite things, but I have to send it to receive it.  It would also help to find more people who are as fascinated with snail mail as I am.  Remember pen pals?  There's a certain appeal to communicating with a stranger.  I think I might look into getting one: http://www.friendship-by-mail.com/
• Spend less of my free time on the computer.  It's brainwashing, induces depression, and I firmly believe that dependence on technology has has become, if not a substitution, a crutch for human interaction and authentic experiences. 
• I want to take more pictures (with my new camera!).

Joint Resolutions (with Dante):

• Start to plan meals for the week and shop accordingly. 
• Cook more.  When we feel tired after work/school, we veg and end up eating something that is unbalanced, or just straight-up junk.
• Go for a walk outside every day (thanks Ada).  Encourage each other to exercise more.
• Go DO things.

Now for my Inverse Resolutions:

• I WON'T lose my sense of wonder.  I love to love, and will do whatever I can to shield myself from the world-weariness that is all too abundant in our society. 
• I WON'T retreat back into the shell I built for myself in college.  I can be pretty cool and fun, but I have to continue to shake off the anxiety I sometimes feel when entering social situations. 
• I WON'T stop standing up for myself if I am wronged.  Recently, I experienced for the first time at my job someone of consequence try to push me around and take advantage of me.  I didn't run away from the problem, but rather faced it and dealt with it maturely (thanks to lots of advice and encouragement).  The end result was that I not only ended up in better overall shape at work than I started, but more importantly, I grew and became more confident in my ability to take care of and handle myself.  Rawk.
• I WON'T let myself go, health-wise.  I'm going on 16 months without a major flare, and I plan to do whatever it takes to continue this streak indefinitely!

I just watched Shopgirl.  My expectations were not high, but I was really pleased with it and have been left feeling...thoughtful.  Steve Martin did well in an uncharacteristic role and Claire Danes is always a delight.  Another redeeming quality of the film: I enjoyed Jason Schwartzman's character.  Why is this remarkable, you ask?  In general, I'm not a fan of his as I don't like his roles and don't understand why he's always dirty and barefoot in films, but this was great. 

The dictionary.com word of the day is "ultimate."  Errnh?  I can't say that I feel enlightened, but I do believe that from time to time, it's very important to re-examine the things we use without a second thought in day-to-day interactions.  Words like "ultimate" "love" and "hate" are very powerful, but tend to get thrown around which invariably weakens and cheapens them.  Now that I think of it..."ultimate" is a fine word for the day.

I just realized I forgot to buy champagne.

Have a safe and happy New Year!

I will honor Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year.

...Charles Dickens knows what's up.

Happy holidays to all, and I hope those of you who celebrated Christmas had an exceptional day!

.:EDIT:.

This is a really remarkable story about a girl who may have been saved by an angel as she lay dying in the hospital...just in time for Christmas.

Repeat the Sounding Joy

A Christmas candle is a lovely thing;
It makes no noise at all,
But softly gives itself away;
While quite unselfish, it grows small.
-Eva K. Logue

I'm sitting here drinking gluhwein with my sister (she claims to be grinchy but she's really a dearheart) and feeling very relaxed and peaceful, aside from not liking the fact that Dante is in Philly alone. Sometimes - rarely - my thoughts are bare-boned, like now. There's really not a whole lot on my mind, and certainly nothing complicated; I'm just comfortable.

Our tree is wonderful. Earlier, I stretched out on my back underneath it and looked up through the branches at the lights and the assortment of ornaments, and felt warm all over. I love home so much...I hung out with many of my closest high school friends the other night, and it's so refreshing to know that after months (in some cases, years!) of not being in touch, when we get together it's just as if we had never been apart. No hesitation, awkwardness or anything...we just fall back into sync.

I feel as though this year I didn't have time to prepare for or get into the spirit of Christmas. Thinking about this makes me a little bit sad because Christmas is my absolute favorite time of the year and I start marinating in the spirit around Thanksgiving (or prior, if I can't resist). I guess I shouldn't feel sad, because Christmas is far from over (we're only a few hours in!) so there's plenty of time for me to settle into the joyful spirit, right?

There is much to be grateful for.

I think I'm going to watch How the Grinch Stole Christmas, and go to Sleep. Unless Sleep insists I see to it first.

And the Grinch, with his Grinch-feet ice cold in the snow, stood puzzling and puzzling, how could it be so? It came without ribbons. It came without tags. It came without packages, boxes or bags. And he puzzled and puzzled 'till his puzzler was sore. Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before. What if Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store? What if Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more?
-Dr. Seuss

Merry Christmas and goodnight!

I'll Be Home for Christmas

I got to Colorado a few hours ago and am relaxing with my birds, the cat, and dog, and watching this:



Mmmmm. Muppets are timeless. IMHO though, A Muppet Family Christmas from 1987 trumps all of the Christmas specials. Check out around the 9-11 minute time span or thereabouts. The Eagle and Bunsen/Beaker are such fun, underrated muppets.

So. About last night. Let me start by saying that I have a lot of hockey memories...some good, some bad, but last night definitely ranked among my top 3 hockey experiences. I love coaching so much and I can't imagine a better group of ladies. Maybe I'll recap when I'm less jittery and distracted by the Muppets.

I'm sitting here by the pellet stove, sipping tea and being so happy to be home (even though dog farts are noxious), but I miss Dante already...awww.

Ok this year's Muppet Christmas special is almost over, and I'm relieved to know that [SPOILER ALERT] Pepe the King Prawn believes in Santa: "I know what I said, hokay?! I was just acting macho, hokay? Deep down, I am a really sensitive prawn." Pepe rules, hokay?

Alright...I'm headed upstairs to schmooze with the folks and pets. Mah deer lufflee seestr coms hoem frum ficksin teh borked aminuls sune!

kthxbai!

Non-Renewable?!

Blargh.

So.  At various times over the past few months, I put myself on waiting lists for four books from the library.  The lists were all varied in length, but for some reason all the books became available for me to pick up at the same time a couple weeks ago.

I'm in a pickle.  I'm only done reading two of the books.  1 3/4 actually.  They're due on Christmas Eve.

Should I take the two unread books with me to read in Colorado, knowingly incurring the 3 or 4 day overdue book charge, not to mention being discourteous to others who are waiting for the books?  The late fee would probably be a few dollars at most.  Or should I be a good library patron and return them before I leave?

To be honest, I really just want someone to tell me that it's ok to purposely keep two books (for which I've been waiting months) past their due dates.  I just might do it anyway.  

I am such a rebel.

Capuchin Therapy, Coming Right Up!

Nothing like a brand new, smooshy Capuchin baby face to chase those winter blues away...

There's something about this little guy that immediately cheers me up no matter what...enjoy!

"I will not dissect things unless instructed."

I'm surprised I hadn't seen The Simpsons episode "Lisa on Ice" before tonight, especially since it first aired in 1994...but it's about hockey!  I might venture to say that it is now my favorite episode.  There were little things about it I enjoyed too, such as when Homer turns to Marge to complain that Maggie is useless as she silently leaps up to catch a beer bottle flying toward the back of the head, when Lisa's hair pops the only volleyball in Springfield, and this particular episode's chalkboard phrase (see blog title).  "Me fail English?  That's unpossible!"

Work was good today; actually the whole week was productive and went rather smoothly.  There was only one crisis, and it was handled timely and efficiently.  I guess I shouldn't speak too soon, because there's still tomorrow, and it will be the craziest day of the week as I try to wrap things up before I go home for the entire week of Christmas!  Eeeeee.

My brother proposed to his girlfriend (now fiance) last night...and she said yes!  She has a layover in Philadelphia from Friday night into Saturday afternoon, and I'm going to take her ice skating at the RiverRink, which is going to be fun.  She also hasn't had an authentic cheesesteak before, so we'll have to indulge.  One must keep in mind that all of this will occur while wearing totally boss hats with earflaps and pom-poms.

Dante made chocolate chip cookies.

I have to finish my Christmas cards.  I guess it would help to start them first.

I require chapstick.

St. Jude's and Hallmark holiday commercials make me misty.

Fred and Friends products are nifty.

I think I need more Vitamin A.

This entry is so boring, but I'm cool with it.

Now that I'm back in the Blogosphere...

...(assuming I don't fall off the wagon again, of course) I must say that I already feel lighter.  

It doesn't matter how fantastical or substantial, simple or complex, capricious or disciplined, my clouds of thought must be arranged sensibly and properly unloaded or else I will drive myself crazy.  Here's where blogging does what totally boss Sesame Street coloring books, knitting, and reading cannot: I can put my thoughts into words however I damn well please (within the parameters of this 2x6 text box anyway...uhh drat), simply click "Publish Post," and my neatly packaged entries are rocketed into the gaping void that is teh intarwebz, never to weigh on me again.  Ahh.  

Ok, I know it's not always that simple, but it's basically how it works.

Sheesh.  Why did I fall off the friggin' wagon in the first place?

k I muss haf sum sleep nao srsly.  dis wan tyrd kitteh.  kthxnite!

Morning mental health break

O hai n gud moarning deer chzfrends!

This report I’m running is taking for.ev.ur (think Sandlot) and I have to go profile documents in about 20 minutes, so I’m sitting here sipping my English Breakfast tea (with milk and honey, in case you wanted to know) and being serene.

I can safely say that I like my new position now.  After scaling the most treacherous face of the steep learning curve and exhausting all resources to resolve the mistreatment I was experiencing, I walked into work about a week ago, sat at my desk, and the knots in my stomach miraculously went away as I came to the realization that everything had just clicked.  That was a long sentence.  I’m so grateful because I got to the point at which I was treading on dangerously thin ice, as my lupus was flaring and I fell into a deep depression where almost nothing made me happy and I wasn’t taking care of myself at all.  Thank goodness for my loving human sounding boards and hockey. 

H’anyway.  I’m off to profile documents and datasets, and all I can say is that it’s wonderful not to absolutely dread waking up and coming to work each morning.  Maybe getting shit on at work is a rite of passage.  If that’s the case, I’m glad I survived relatively unscathed.

Blessins of Ceiling Cat plz 2 be apwn u srsly.  Kthxbai!

How do I miss thee?

Sigh.

I miss blogging.  Liek omg sew mush srsly.  I haven't had the time or energy to do much of anything for myself over the past month or two, but I'm slowly but surely coming around.  

As always, there is much to be grateful for in the big picture, but until about two weeks ago the "rat race" aspect of life was so challenging and draining that being depressed about it is all I could think about doing.  Thankfully, things are looking up for several reasons...one being that I'm no longer getting completely dicked over at work.  Another being that I'm feeling a little better and am cautiously optimistic.  Even if everything in life is going great, if my lupus is active really puts a damper on things so now that I'm not completely miserable, I can focus on being healthy.

HOME IN 5 DAYS, BETCHES!  

kthxbai!