Thanks for the Memories

I'd known Morgan since his first day of school in Colorado. He came from the great state of Texas, and right from the get-go, we were buddies. I am heartbroken that he was in so much pain he felt he had no alternative other than to end his own life, but I will focus on the happy times I shared with him and the joy his spirit brought to everyone who was lucky enough to know him.

I was reluctant to write this, mostly because I feel as though no expression of wordsmithing or emotion would be good enough for him. However, I just had to put something out there...mostly for selfish reasons, as I need an outlet for the ever-increasing amount of pressure being bottled up inside me and the fact that the 1,800 miles of distance between here and Colorado Springs has never seemed greater. I've also never felt so isolated, as there is no one where I am who can understand the light that Morgan took with him when he left.

Among many memories with which he left me, two specifically come to mind and invariably cause me to burst out laughing through my tears:
1) He rocked a mullet and sported an impressive cowlick until middle school. It was awesome. Everything is bigger in Texas, and apparently that included the hairdos of prepubescent boys. With the aid of products that made his hair shiny, rigid, and remarkably aromatic, he donned his Texan crown proudly. I'm pretty sure all the girls had crushes on him at some point.
2) He baked his very first batch of cookies in my kitchen on Suntide Place. Not only were each of his cookies little gooey masterpieces, but hilarity ensued in our cookie-making process, including a flour fight, dough mysteriously smeared on the ceiling, and Morgan "accidentally" chopping off a chunk of my hair (the damage was not visible, thank goodness). The entire day was spent bustling to the melodious tones of laughter and good conversation. We ended up with something like 15 dozen cookies for a school function. After our cookies were devoured, we got rave reviews...no doubt because lots of care and love went into them.

This quick entry should not be considered a worthy tribute to Morgan's amazing personality, his short but meaningful life, or the ways in which he profoundly affected so many...but rather a means by which I can share a couple vignettes to serve as little windows into the scope of my experience with him, that I will hold near and dear to my heart forever. I feel so blessed not only to have shared a friendship with Morgan, but also that when I think of him my impulse to laugh and smile is overwhelmingly more powerful than my urge to cry. I think (and hope) that's how he would have wanted it to be.

Morgan, thanks for letting me be part of your awesome existence. I just hope that wherever you are, you're not in pain anymore and that you have a perfect vantage point from which you can see the countless people who love you and your family for the small, everyday miracles you created just by being yourself.

Below is his obituary, published in the local paper today.

February 7, 1985 - July 10, 2008 Morgan Scott Hutchins, age 23, passed away unexpectedly July 10. He is survived by his parents, Hutch and Kay, his brother Taylor, his maternal grandparents Steve and Evelyn Jones of Albuquerque, his paternal grandparents Bob and Gene Hutchins also of Albuquerque, his aunts and uncles Ray and Teri Jones of Orlando, FL, Steve Hutchins of Ada, OK, Larry and Debra Kincaid, Jim and Debra Hutchins, Dan and Cathy Hutchins, all of Albuquerque. Morgan also leaves behind the love of his life, Linsey Bottiger, and a multitude of dear friends, co-workers and neighbors who cherished him. Everyone who knew Morgan was drawn to his magnetic charm, electric smile and his beautiful expressive eyes. He loved his music, snowboarding, climbing 14er's, canoeing and fishing, and he was an inventive cook. He was an affectionate and loving son, and his passing leaves an enormous hole in our lives. Morgan had a huge heart with room enough for everybody else's joys and pain. He was outwardly exuberant about life and could light up a room just walking through the door. He just could not love himself the way he loved his family and friends. He was deeply loved by his mom, his dad, his brother and his Linsey. We pray his soul is at peace now, but we will miss him and love him forever. The memorial service for Morgan will be Thursday, July 17 at 11:00 AM at Sunrise United Methodist Church, 2655 Briargate Blvd. In lieu of flowers we request that donations be made in Morgan's name to HEARTBEAT, an aftercare program of the Suicide Prevention Partnership, 2860 Circle Drive, Suite 102, Colorado Springs 80916... --> FH = Swan-Law Funeral Directors -->
Published in The Gazette on 7/15/2008