Dis dae livz in infummee.

Backstory: Some people got laid off at Joe's work yesterday, and today, the company decides that they have enough money to host an office-wide pizza party.

me:  wuts fur lunsh joh?

Ebbs:  wait till you hear this…yesterday they let people go. today? pizza at noon.  i'll eat my sandwich, thanks

me:  shit..yeah i just saw your tweet. so dum.

Ebbs:  laaame 

*lunch break* 

me:  o hai joh! u partaek in peetza or no? 

Ebbs:  nope 

me:  gud fur u…i woodnt eethr 

Ebbs:  thanks! 

me:  pees teh rizistans or sumfin 

Ebbs:  yeah, pretty shiesty.  sylunt protest…viva la resistance 

me:  yah.  u fast.  liek teh gondee. no peetza!  iz tayntid! 

Ebbs:  lol, well nawt liek dat. i ayted mai sammich 

me:  ya well...peetza fast at wurk on 2/6. tayntid peetza is liek no good srsly 

Ebbs:  i remembransh - blud peetza 

me:  yah mark ur kalindurz kittehs!
im sorry i cant help but laff at “blud peetza”
do you know how ridiculous we are?
i love it

Ebbs:  hahaha we are pretty silly
yeah, blud peetza may not be politically correct. but it is damned funny

me:  since when are we politically correct?

Ebbs:  nebah! dey can taek r fweedum!
*cant
fweedum. i cant haz
* u cant haz
i mess up teh joeks

me:  iz k. eethr wae.  dis dae goze down in infummee.  injustis.  innisint kittehs haz it.

Ebbs:  ya! i haz dreem, in it i nawt eet peetza

    me:  i haz a dreem, dat wun dae kittehs will rize up n nawt eet tayntid peetza aftur komradz fall off payroll.  troof: "all kittehs dizurv peetza."
I haz a dreem awn teh dai befor caturdae.

Ebbs:  that is epic
Bravo…standin ovashun. u gets wan

me:  lol kthx srsly.
bao, bao, kurtzee.  i wood liek 2 fank mah chzfrends n teh akadimee? n moast of all...Ceiling Cat

Ebbs:  ramen! i fank mai teechurs n mah mudder n fadder

me:  n mah fanz, fur the capshunz.  5 guise chzburgr maekrz

Joseph:  n fris!

Best. LOLspeak convursashun.  Evar.

Happy Dae-Befor-Caturdai!