She generally gave herself very good advice, though she very seldom followed it.

Lewis Carroll was a bona fide wordsmith and I like Alice's spunk.

I'm so behind. On everything.

Things have been crazy since getting out of the hospital. Turns out the SLE is really doing a number on my poor pericardium, so I'm home in Colorado for a couple months to try and heal. Actually, it was perfect timing too; my living situation was incredibly stressful and work got really shitty as the economic crisis finally hit my company and extreme pay cuts were made the very week I left. It's also nice to be out of the east coast climate during this time of the year when it's so hot and muggy...there's no way I would have been able to heal in Philly under those circumstances.

Yesterday, one of the bright spots of my family's existence was extinguished in a matter of three minutes. Jasmin was an amazing dog; a real spirit guide. My heart is broken for my sister and the gravity of this loss, but Jasmin had the best life she possibly could have had. It was long, during which time she touched a lot of people; I feel so blessed to have her as part of my family. This little blurb is by no means a worthy tribute - no blurb could be - but Jasmin is on my mind so I want to at least give her awesome existence a shout out.

I'm tired.

Sometimes I have a hard time communicating with my mom on a really basic level. I'm not sure what it is, or if I'm doing something wrong. We tried to have a conversation about this fantastic shrimp/noodle/goodness stir fry stuff she made for dinner, and it went like this:

Mom: So how was the pad thai?

Me: Oh my gosh it was awesome. Such a great meal...thank you.

Mom: No really, how was it?

Me: ...well, I mean, I really loved it. It hit the spot and all the flavors cooked together perfectly.

Mom: No really, I'm not fishing for compliments. How was it?

Me: Okay, it was terrible actually.

Mom: Oh come on! What I mean is, was it like authentic pad thai?

Me: I don't know. I haven't really had much authentic pad thai...all I know is that this is really really good.

Mom: Oh ok. But it's good pad thai?

Me: ...yes it is. I really liked it.

Mom: Really? So it's like real pad thai? [Long silence] Um, okay good. I'm glad you enjoyed it!

It's taken me all day - literally - to write this entry. Since getting out of the hospital, I just can't sit and focus on any one thing for longer than maybe 15 minutes at a time. I'm going to bed.